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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Capture Your Grief - Day 13 - Regrets + Triggers





Regrets during my journey of grief:

1. I regret not being able to bathe and dress my angel. (I never got to do this.)
2. I regret not laying a baby blanket in her forever bed with her.
3. I regret allowing others to tell me how I should be grieving and listening to them.
4. I regret not being more grateful and more excited for her during my pregnancy.
5. I regret not holding on to her longer when I had the opportunity.
6. I regret that I didn't fight harder for her when I knew something was wrong and her doctor wouldn't listen to me.
7. I regret not making sure more photo's were taken of us. (Yes we had pictures done but I have one photo of me and my angel and it's blurry.)
8. I regret the fact that I wasn't the mother my oldest daughter needed while she was grieving too.
9. I regret not keeping up with the letters to my angel in her notebook and vow to start writing to her again.
10. I regret not knowing her exact weight, length, or more details of her that I'm slowly losing over time.


Triggers:

1. Baby girl clothes in the store.
2. Seeing her name written somewhere.
3. Certain ways my rainbow baby looks while he sleeps.
4. Fall to winter because I can't see butterflies on a daily basis.
5. When someone doesn't acknowledge that she existed when listing their nieces or grandkids on a card or social media. 


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